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So she wrote me a letter, and I responded with 3nder.
I started it as a playground for people who want to explore themselves.”3nder, better known as Tinder for threesomes, connects “kinky, curious and open- minded singles and couples around you,” who can then join a group chat.
Alexandra*, a Los Angeles native on 3nder, was in committed, heterosexual relationships she called “restrictive,” until she moved to New York earlier this year.
“It wasn’t until I was engagement ring shopping that I realized I wasn’t ready to give up everything for marriage.
“There is no scenario in the mainstream threesome imaginary where a woman in a heterosexual couple gets to watch some boy-on-boy action between her husband or boyfriend and another guy…3nder is there to fulfill every straight guy’s fantasy—a threesome with two One 26-year-old man signed up after seeing it on a Vice documentary about modern dating.
He’s not interested in polyamorous relationships but appreciates the sexual liberation 3nder presents.
Yes, a threesome would be awesome, but it seems impractical to work out, especially on an app.”According to Mr.
Trifonov, about 35 percent of 3nder members are couples, with more than 40 percent of the couple accounts created by the female partner.
On 3nder, everyone knows what they’re signing up for—there’s no chance of pretending you made a mistake.
In her academic article for NYU Press, “3nder and the Threesome Imaginary,” Dr.
Schippers wrote, “According to representations of 3nder threesomes, the couple is heterosexual and the person invited into their bed is a woman…Where are the threesomes that include two men and one woman? Schippers believes 3nder is doing little to dispel the myth of the F/F/M threesome infamous in popular culture, whether it’s on Gossip Girl or in Wild Things.
Only 8 percent of the couples are not male and female, and 34 percent of the members don’t identify as straight.
That leaves an app full of male/female partners, and many heterosexual men…there are only a few “unicorns,” the popular name for a presumably beautiful, heteroflexible or bisexual single woman hoping to join a couple.